There is this great quote that goes:
The day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to bloom… this is the element of freedom
This quote and this picture is exactly where my life is and where it’s about to be.
So this post is a bit removed from whole-food truth and more around whole-life truths. I’m about to contemplate a move. Geographically and metaphorically. This move will see me move houses, perhaps states and comfort zones. It will also see me leave jobs, roles, communities and many friends.
I want to focus more on the moving towards rather than the ‘moving away from’. Mostly so this doesn’t begin to freak me into a bunch anxiety attacks.
I have a vision for my life, call it a goal, if you will. But to begin it will involve a move. I have known the type of life I have wanted for myself for a very long time now. I, of course, have been ignoring it for almost equally that long too.
This decision or move is born from a feeling. Well more accurately a move towards a feeling that I want. I’m moving towards what I want to feel like in 5 years time as apposed to what I want to achieve in the traditional sense. This doesn’t mean that I can’t want for career success, a home, a family etc. But I’m more interested in what and how I want to feel by achieving something. Ie: Do I want to keep climbing my well worn career path rungs? What would my next promotion and the one after that make me feel? Happy, sense of success, more money, status, stressed…more compromised?
This move is about letting go. Letting go of the life I assumed I would have. Now I get excited at the thought of chasing down a life, of an existence and experiences that I never even began to think I could have. I want what I thought was a dream. Now I see that dream as my ‘where do I want to be in five years’. Its my new compass. My achievement.
So this brings me to my move. It is essentially the easiest part of the bigger picture. But the most significant. I’ve actively decided to leave my current path for something that’s more me. It’s taken me over a year to get the guts to do this and there was a very close call about 6 months ago. But I stayed, fearful that leaving all I had worked for was crazy and foolish.
Why am I telling you this? Because I want to be accountable. I don’t want to wake up in 5 years time feeling this way, not that’s its bad, I have a wonderful life here, but I know there is better. I choose to wake up and feel something different. My move is to make space for a new feeling. I’m not giving up who I am just my current label.
Its just a different way of looking at it…Sans blinkers.