Adrenal Fatigue… got me
Last week* I cried in a health food shop.
Not the pretty kind of ‘tear gently rolling off the edge of my eyelash’ tears, like in a rom-com. It was uncontrollable tears spilling out across both lids taking my mascara with it. Resulting in me becoming an ugly mess, crying in public no less. Not to mention having other ‘health food shop’ weirdo’s (you know who you are) looking at me in pity and confusion.
I blame one woman; Christine. I have known her for over a decade and she is a super-power-healer-whisperer, freakn amazing person. She has this gift of being able to see you. She knows exactly what is going on before you’ve even opened you mouth. It went like this;
I was back in my home town and dropped in to my old health shop to pick up supplies, and also secretly hoping to run into her for a chat. She saw me and did a double take. After we exchanged excited hello’s, hugs and kisses she stood back and said I looked different. I casually mentioned I had recently chopped my hair off. Nope, she bluntly replied – ‘You look like you, but not really you, like you’re tired or not quite ‘here’.
Dam her… I wasn’t quite there, to be honest I haven’t been here or there or anywhere for a while now.
‘You look exhausted….
‘Actually, it’s your adrenals….’
‘They are exhausted…’
Hmm. I kind of thought I have been burning it at both ends at bit. Then my steely emotional iron clad wall started to crack (shit – this type of thing doesn’t happen to Me. Like Ever) deep breath, hold it in…
Then she said; ‘Your adrenals are sad’.
Wholly shit. I don’t know what was worse; crying in public or 100% agreeing that I had sad adrenals. But at this point it didn’t matter, I was beyond caring. She got me a tissue and patted my head. After leaving and buying a billion dollars of stuff to help justify my tears, I got in my car and drove away. Only to have to pull over cos my mascara was stinging my eyes (mental note: purchase chemical free mascara).
So after the drama calmed down I realised that I’ve been so focused on external events and things working out that I’ve been completely neglecting basic life nourishment, stuff that’s just for me. In the past few months I’ve taken some hard hits. Things beyond my control like situations that have not worked out as I’ve hoped, coupled with the challenge of personally purposeful work. Add winter into the mix (a crazy stalker!), a limited supportive structure and for me that tallied up to sad and tired adrenals.
I had been mulling over what this means to me for a few days which has given me space to re trace my steps and figure out how I got to be a crying mess in a health food shop. Turns out I’ve been ignoring most of my basic needs and pushing through to try and ‘achieve’. Pure ego drive. And now all I can do is welcome my fatigue, accept my limits and begin to re-build and heal, because the thing about adrenal glands is they take time to repair. It’s a very slow road to full recovery. And there is no magic pill that you can take to solider on (fyi whoever came up with that marketing slogan has a lot to answer to). It’s a gradual process of slow build.
*This occurred 16 weeks ago…
I have been on a repair and re-build program that I feel like I’m truly on the other side of now. It involved surrendering to my limits. Accepting quite time and avoiding situations (and people) that aggravate my symptoms. Let me tell you this is really freakn hard. You basically take out all the things that you LOVE most and go on sabbatical… ok, maybe not that drastic – but its tough.
Things I removed:
- Coffee – to over stimulating and depleting for the adrenals
- Alcohol – depletes your ‘happy’ hormones and essentially lives you feeling sad-er than what drove you to it.
- Gluten – any grains which can upset gut = very upset girl
- Dairy – personal choice – think its messing with my hormones and figured while I was off everything else what’s one more thing.
- Foods that are processed i.e. in a packet/’ready to eat’.
- People – who make me feel like shit or guilty or not enough (this included a massive FB cull)
- Excessive socialising – too exhausting.
Things I added
- Sleep: I was needing up to 10+ hours
- Acupuncture : every 2 weeks – amazing results, even if I have no idea why she’s putting needles in my neck – I’m all ‘my adrenals aren’t in there…’
- Reflexology : alternating weeks
- Nights in: lots and lots of nights in – with cups of herbal tea (total rock and roll especially on Fri/Sat – I need to investigate Pay TV options)
- No weights: my body wasn’t recovering and I’d be sore and tired for up to 4-5 days later. Felt like I needed to sleep after a session.
- Remembering to breath out
- And lastly as much sun as possible.
Supplements (I don’t support or endorse any particular brands on this blog – however you get what you pay for so consider that when your shopping)
- Liquorice tea: super supportive for sad adrenals. It replaced coffee – NB it tastes NOTHING like coffee and it stinks up your cupboard or office out in my case.
- Adrenal supportive herbal supplement – 2 x day
- Magnesium – 2-3x day (one just before bed)
- Vitamin C 1000mg 3-4 a day
- Mulit B complex 2 x day
- Omega 3s high concentrate 2x day
- Greens – in almost every meal (Pressed Juice Co Greens 4 is my FAV for a morning rush!)
- Nothing to ‘cold’ or cooling esp. during winter – too hard for the body to re-heat from.
- Fermented vegetables – to assist digestion. Digesting food is extremely taxing and stressful on our bodies so the most assistance you can offer the better
- Salt – good quality mineral – I added it to everything (to taste – use your judgment)
- Bone broth – even though I don’t love it, I still included it. Please only make from bones that are organic.
- No skipping meals because of its impact blood sugar – when this happens your body will release cortisol as a stress response which in turn impacts on your adrenals.
This repair mode took a good 3 months and I slowly noticed a vast improvement in my general wellness. I was less tired and could stay up past 10pm (whoop whoop!). I was able include the occasional glass of wine and not be wiped out the next day and I slowly took back up a weight session once /twice a week.
Its now 4 months on from this crash and while I’m not fully ‘recovered’ my quality of life is unrecognizable from where I was back in August. I’m not sure if I’ll ever recover from this tendency to adrenal fatigue but I know how to manage it and more importantly I know when I’m pushing it. I’ve also switched to a very high fat, low(er) carb diet. Please note this is not labelled ‘Paleo’ it’s just a choice. I still eat meat, but not highly processed options. The fat in my diet mostly comes from coconut products, avocados, butter and cheese. I seem to be able to deal with this type of lower lactose dairy easily. I’ve added a few more supplements to the mix to support oxidation processes too.
What I’m driving to towards right now is Exceptional Wellness. Not just living, but thriving and looking darn good while I do it. Everything that I aspire to be I’m now working towards and I finally have the energy to get it.
I survived my ‘crash’ have you had similar?
I made my first jellies today. I’ve been watching the trend of these new little gems for over a year now and today I decided to make my first batch.
I wanted a new snack or treat that would deliver on taste and also have a nutritional edge. Enter Gelatin. Its PURE protein, well ‘purified’ protein taken from animals (note; there are no plant sources of gelatin). Is derived from a process of hydrolysis of select animal parts namely; hoofs, skin, connective tissue and bones. Now I’m sure that may gross many people out but think of it’s a nose to tail ‘sustainable’ sourcing. Great up-cycling really. Interestingly another term for gelatin is its more fashionable pop-culture name; Collagen.
I used Great Lakes unflavored beef Gelatin. I had to order it online. The nutritional break down of gelatin is a clean eaters dream; all protein, no carbs or fat. 1 tbsp. provides 11gs of protein. Winning.
But the reason for my sudden jello-making event is I’m training hard and heavy at the moment (photos to come) and I’m finding I need something to help with recovery. My current diet wasn’t providing me with enough protein via foods and so I found myself reaching for the protein powders. But I’m bored with shakes and after years and years using them I went looking for an alternative. So hello jellies!
My first go at it was super easy and its foolproof.
Here is my recipe for natural collagen/gelatin jellies:
- 4 Tbsp. gelatin
- 1/3 cup + 1tbs water
- 1 punnet (250g) strawberries (or other berries)
- 1/2 cup orange juice (or if you like it more tart you can use lemon juice)
- 2 Tbsp. maple syrup
- Pinch of good quality salt
- Mix gelatin and water together in a cup– stir quickly then set aside
- Chop or blitz up the berries and juice – this can be as fine or chunky as you like – think 1970 tinned fruit salad set in jelly!
- Transfer fruit and juice into a saucepan – bring almost to boil.
- Add gelatin from cup to mix and stir until dissolved – don’t boil. I removed it from the heat element after about 30sec as the heat from the fruit ‘melted’ it.
- Pour into jug and spoon or pour into molds/tray. I used ice-cub trays – the silicon ones work best as you can just ‘pop’ them out. And they are so pretty!
- Mine took less than 20mins in the fridge to set.
- Store in an airtight container for up to a week – I laid them between sheets of baking (grease-proof) paper so they don’t ‘stick’.
- This mix made 30 jellies = 1.5g of protein per jelly
You can set them anyway you like, I’ve seen them be poured into a baking tray and then sliced into squares. The flavours can be changed to suit you – however pineapple might be difficult to set as it contains a enzyme called bromelain that helps break down protein – your jellie might not set firm if you use only this fruit.
While I understand that you’d have to pop quite a few jellies to get the same hit as a scoop of protein powder – this is merely an alternative so you can starve off ‘shaker fatigue’ for as long as possible! I have a few with my morning coffee if I know it might be awhile before I eat my first meal. And they are great mid-afternoon to avoid hunting for a sugar rush.
I recommend you try it, they are unbelievably good – and good for you.
You know what I want? Less plastic and more mindfulness. Tomatoes that taste like tomatoes. I want to see images of real women — that have not been Photoshop’d into impossible alien creatures in articles.
I want us to become so conscious as a culture that advertisers give up trying to fool us. Danielle Laporte
The above is taken from one of my most favourite authors; Danielle Laporte. She is a phenomenon and I wish what she taught was part of my school curriculum because I’m sure it would have saved me years of pain. Her main conversation is to be driven by your desires to feel a certain way – less about acquiring ‘stuff’ in the hope that it will make you achieve that said feeling. We’ve got it wrong. The sipper above came from this article: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/just-love-declaration it just made sense and I felt compelled to share and make a few other comments:
Firstly, I love how it opens with a no BS ‘You know what I want’. It’s a statement, not a question and you know you’re going to read the next line because maybe what she wants could be what you want too? or at least you want to WANT something with that much attitude and certainty.
Then it’s simply ‘less plastic and more mindfulness’.
Translation: less corporate generated crap you don’t need, mostly because, as it turns out – you actually cannot buy happiness. Followed up with ‘mindfulness’ which basically means; you’ve got to go in, go deep to find out what makes you tick and do high kicks across the room (sorry – dancing analogy – after many many years, its imbedded in my reflexes)
Then we move into food, and yes Danielle, I too want tomatoes that taste like tomatoes – not tiny red orbs that look like clones and taste kinda like, well, plastic? I once helped an ex plant a few small tomato plants because, well, I want to eat tomatoes that taste like tomatoes. He didn’t look after them and they died… ironically a similar thing happened to the relationship…hmmm. Mental not to self – don’t date someone who isn’t willing to water the tomato plants.
Next; Seriously, are we not all fucking over photoshop’d images? We should revolt – women’s mags make me sick. And what amazes me more is that these magazines are targeted towards women, made by women and many of which are mothers to young girls. Way to keep the circle of insecurity and unattainable outward appearance alive ladies! *Note the only magazine I support is The Renegade Collective www.collectivehub.com No physical, idealistic agenda – just people doing awesome stuff. Again I wish this mag was around when I was a teen.
But the last note; become so conscious as a culture that advertisers give up trying to fool us, is POW-ER-FUL. For when you understand what you want, what grounds you to the earth, to your life in your core you become so conscious of the ‘sell’. You know what you need and what isn’t cutting it for you anymore. Thusly leaving room for truly knowing what you want.
Now go plant your tomatoes.
I’ve been doing a bit of research around wellness and illness. How they are linked and how they are essentially one state of homeostasis.
The term has been defined by the Wisconsin-based National Wellness Institute as an active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a more successful existence.
Or Dicitionary.reference.com says this:
1. The quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as the result of deliberate effort.
2. An approach to healthcare that emphasizes preventing illness and prolonging life, as opposed to emphasising treating diseases*
*I personally like this best
When was the last time you thought about the word health as something isolated from having an illness? The phrase ‘at least you have your health’ is referring directly to just-not-being-sick. Awesome.
So are you content with ‘just not being sick’. When you’re sick you stop doing stuff that you think is making you sick – drinking, over working/exercising, late nights and bad food choices. Then you sit still in often whinge reluctantancy and wait for sickness to go. Then you go back to your old routine without a thought to its hand in helping you get sick in the first place.
But what happens when you want to just ‘not’ be sick. Have you thought about what it might feel like to be well, overwhelming well…. In a state of total wellness?
What would it take for you to look at your state of health and focus on optimum vs. just not sick? I bet you’ve never even considered it that way hey? And how the hell do you even start.
We all get the exercise more and eat less health message. So is wellness only about weight? And if that’s our measuring stick; is super skinny the holy grail of wellness? Do our overweight citizens flunk wellness school and have to boot-camp it until they qualify for a better wellness grade?
I’m not so sure it’s that simple.
This post isn’t about 5 steps to ultimate wellness (although that’d bump me up the SEO’s) I just want to challenge your ideals around what wellness or being ‘well’ means to you. Is it just the absence of disease? Is it being able to get through your day without a physical or mental breakdown? Is it the ability to run a marathon? It is total zen; spiritual, mind and body connection?
The jury is out for me on the actual definition, but I do know there is a balance – a scale perhaps, at one end has illness and the other has total wellness with a pivot point in the middle, called the Wellness-Continuum. No one is static in this, we move up and down the line closing in on one end or another. The true trick (or skill) is know when you’re heading in a particular direction and act accordingly. Are you heading towards illness by burning the candles at both ends – and what does that mean for you? Are you the ‘best you’ve ever been’ fittest, strongest, brightest etc and what are the contributing factors around this? What are your telling signs because there is no one-size-fits-all on this. For example I have a friend who can stay up all night, party hard, drink and eat less than ideal foods and then get up the next morning for a 6am PT session. Me – I’m not so lucky. I know that I’ll pay for that late night over the next two – or three – days. But if I choose to do that, its ok, I manage it. Which is essentially what wellness means for me. Where are my limits and what are my signs for pushing the pendulum too far in the wrong direction. You can apply this to foods, diets and exercise – once you start knowing what works for you, what you react to, what makes you feel awesome, you can investigate it more. Feel like crap and all ‘puffy’ after a carb-blow out, take note. Feel awesome after a yoga class or do you get all buzzed up after a HIIT session or spin class? Perhaps you need a bit of both to rock your world.
You can’t flick a switch on this either, it’s a slow burn. But that’s totally ok cos we’ve got time, the body is very forgiving and excellent at healing. Lucky.
So run fast, do your downward dogs, drink your green smoothie or eat steak for breakfast, its all ok. See how you feel after each. Maybe the thought of green liquid make’s you want to gag? Does a paleo fry-up for breaky go against your beliefs? For me a early yoga class makes me cranky – so I do a evening session. Long distance running makes me hate myself – so I do interval training at the gym. Its all the freakn same to our body, it registers it all as movement or nutrients. Then its up to you to interpret how you feel after it. And trust me – a big night fueled with alcohol and greasy food actually makes everyone feel like crap, so why do we keep doing it?
We all have a inbuilt sensory mechanism that supplies us with feedback of our actions. I suggest have a inquisitive listen, it won’t lead you down the wrong path. It wants you to feel good, your best even.
So my #1 tip to get started on wellness is to listen. Shut up, sit down and listen to your body. What is it trying to tell you?
Let me know what makes you rock.
Your brain is to blame.
Well the truth is this: your brain is the reason your lazy. What I mean by this is that you can’t actually blame your body for being out of shape. It’s all in your head.
Good intentions translation: is your brain being so smart at allowing you to be lazy.
Good habits translation: is knowing that you’d rather sit on a couch when you get home but you put your exercise kit on and like Nike says ‘just do it’, even though you’d rather poke one, or two? eyes out.
Good understanding aka ‘nice try’ translation: is being 100% aware when your brain is saying ‘lets just press snooze’ and you know thats a slippery slope to an hour later and you’re still in bed. So you just get the freak up and go.
Knowing your ‘brain tricks’ is the key to changing behaviors. Whether they are relating to exercise, food, wellness, work, relationships, (drugs/alcohol?)
It happened to me last night (not the drugs or alcohol bit). I had every intention when I got home to get changed and go to the gym. The entire drive home I was psyching myself up with energizing music. As I was walking into my building I was mentally finding where I had left my runners from the day before and wondering if I can get one more wear out of my exercise pants before they really really need a wash. But as soon as I walked in the door my brain said this:
‘Wwwooohhhooo – you are home.
It’s a Friday.
You are home.
You made it though another week.
You are home….. (brain winning)
…..We are staying home.
I don’t know where your shoes are.
Take off your work shoes and put warm socks on.
You are home!!
Then I promptly turned on the TV and heater, txt my housemate about what we might like to order from the local Chinese joint. Found cheese and crackers…
Brain 1: Body 0
My brain is so smart at being lazy it’s scary. I swear it would like nothing more than for me to just sit on my arse all day. It basically does everything it can ‘think’ of to ensure that this is what happens. However, when I realized that my body was actually the most efficient and amazing instrument, EVER, I began to look at it all a bit differently. Which means I can no longer play the ‘hating on my body for how it looks’ card anymore. My brain has tricked me into thinking that its my body’s responsibility to get up off the couch and go to the gym, but in (biology) reality, my brain is the master control center that essential runs that show, its just cleverly hiding behind my physical self.
It’s my brain that tells my body to get into a room that has equipment so I can ‘workout’. And when I’m in this room, its my brain that tells my body which part of it needs to push, pull and lift. My body is following orders. Sure it can signal physical fatigue, pain and other sensory information, but it’s my brain that reads this and then chooses the next action.
The body just cannot compete with the tricky spin your brain can come up with. Your brain is S.M.A.R.T. at letting your body be L.A.Z.Y!
From this I have come to the conclusion that there is no way to actually out-smart my brains drive for me to be lazy. After all it doesn’t want us to be lazy to shame us, its version of lazy is there for preservation. Preservation of our fuel resource’s. Again it comes right back to cave man days of saving up our energy in case we have to chase our meal down, or run so we don’t become something else’s meal. Makes perfect sense to me. Our body will respond on demand to our brain. But if your brain is running the ‘lazy-boy show’ then you’ll never actually win.
However all is not lost. You can work with your brain. Re-program if you like. But this takes some work and talking out loud to, well, often just yourself. First step in this is to know when exercising works for you. Are you an early morning exerciser, midday, afterwork or after dinner? It doesn’t matter when you do it. You body works best and thus gets better results when you know what time works for you.
I’ll give you an example of what works for me:
I love to get up early and walk, before anything in my day starts. I like to walk and watch the sun come up. So I do it. Because my brain thinks this is fun, i.e. I get loads of enjoyment out of it = not-exercise-to-brain. But I also like to go to the gym for weights. I have no strength in the morning for weights, my body is still waking up and I find that I can’t really ‘resist’ (aka weight training) in the morning. So I don’t do that kind of exercise then, because then I would then it and never do it. I realize that I’m strongest just after work around 5pm. So I go then. But I also know that after-work time for me is dangerous because its when my ‘want to go home and sit on the couch’ mantra is the strongest. So here is where you need to play the mind games a bit. You need to find the joy factor in exercising, which sounds wanky i know. But for me it’s a feeling of being strong both physically and mentally, followed closely by the results I see in my physical body from this type of activity (vanity? who cares). It’s this double barrel approach that makes it happen. It takes some mental muscle to keep working towards achieving this internal motivation. Which is vastly different from other exercise goals like fitting into a size X dress or upcoming holiday where a bikin is your main get up. You need to see it like a maintenance project. Same as you would putting petrol in your car or buying groceries so you can eat. You just need to find the outcome that will drive you to keep wanting to do it. And to be skinny isn’t enough. For some it could be relaxation, stress release, health reason, wanting to be healthy for your family, mental health, managing illness. Whatever it is it needs to be strong enough to keep you wanting to do it. There will be changes in level of frequency and type, but just keep doing it. Your brain will ask less questions if it’s a regular thing.
So find out what it is that makes you happy when you’re moving. Then just keep doing that. Make time or find time. You are accountable for how you look, not your DNA, genetics, blah blah blah BS. Your brain chooses how and when you move, what you eat and when you do it. Outcome is yours.
Your body will work for you whenever you’re ready to use it.
‘Angsts about the body robs a woman in some large share of her creative life and attention to other things’ Clarissa Pinkola Estes*
In our desperation to fit into the ‘ideal norm’ we have limited our ability to dream. Too much of our time is caught up in thoughts that serve our ego rather than our higher potential. In specific how we perceive our physical body image
Have you noticed that the more you obsess about your body the more your thoughts are taken away from grand visions to a miniscule mindset? A lacking, a sense of limitedness or not (good) enough feelings?
Are you finding that most of the conversations you have with people (women) are more often than not focused around weight and diet in relation to our bodies? And is anyone else freakn bored to death of it?!
We sub-consciously and often in full consciousness, mentally ‘take down’ our fellow mates. Women do it to women and men do it to men, however the latter in a less quantitative amount then the former. But all this attacking serves no one. Especially ourselves. The more your thoughts are of picking ‘flaws’ in another, the more your own unhappiness with your physical identity is prevalent. Our thoughts about another are often just a mirror about ourselves. There is a woman where I work that does the ‘look up and down’ assessment, before you’ve even shared good morning niceties. She isn’t even aware she’s doing it. I used to find it offensive, but now I realize it’s born of her own insecurities about how she see’s herself. I imagine the constant comparison must take up so much of her mental energy.
Admittedly I used to be caught up in the body-image-attack. All I could see -and judge- in others was my own perceived body ‘flaws’. I would have feelings of envy towards others who I saw as perfect – in comparison to me. I would have feelings of sympathy if I saw someone who, I thought, shared my ‘flaw’. But in reality my feelings were based on my assumption of what I thought was perfect and NOTHING to do with the physical appearance of their bodies.
Our comparison with others needs to end. Its all fake stuff we’re making up in our head anyway. And what does it really matter if someone is shorter, taller, rounder, skinner, etc. than you are? I promise you, they are looking at you wishing they had something of yours, as they believe is better than theirs. Oh and to that point, don’t compliment someone if you don’t mean it. Because they can feel the insincerity behind it. So while the words may sound good, they don’t feel good. This, I believe, is the most damaging talk that women can do to each other. We are intuitive beings, some more than others, but we all can tell when a compliment is routed in honesty or fallacy. There is another lady at work who I think has really grasped this, or more accurately, let the judging go. I often hear her say to people ‘You look really well’. She doesn’t dish it out to everyone; it’s said from a genuine place of belief that the person she’s speaking to looks ‘well’. How awesome is that! A compliment that is open to interpretation. It feeds into our own individual belief of what ‘well’ means to us. Its not hitched on a measured physical note being size, height, weight, etc. This type of statement reinforces the receiver to believe that what and who they are in that moment, is pretty awesome. That kinda compliment can make someone’s day.
So remove your judging score cards and relax the comparisons, it serves neither and damages both. Besides, haven’t we got more creative things to pay attention to?
*Quote taken from the book The Women Who Run With The Wolves pg 202.
When your passion becomes redundant
In a previous post I wrote about getting the right qualification to enable me to work in the fitness industry. I eventually became that super freaky personal trainer you see in all gyms today and 10 years ago having a PT was kind of a big deal. You kinda had to be a Big Deal yourself to afford it. It was considered a luxury item, exclusive even. In the location where my gym was my clientele, stereotypically, consisted of male ‘executive’ types between 6am and 9am and after that it was the wives of these ‘executive’ men. But regardless of who I was training, I learnt two things;
- No matter how much money you have, you still gotta do the work. That means you actually can’t pay anyone to work-out for you. Which is also very different from paying someone to make sure you sweat.
- Doing what you love can sometimes rob you of your passion. Aka ‘when your passion becomes pointless’
The latter is what happened to me.
Most of you know by now that I am one of those people who actually like the gym. Not to be social though, I’m the girl who never train with anyone else and I ALWAYS have my ‘ears’ in. It’s purely my time to do my thing when it suits me and it makes me uneasy if someone asks me if I want to train with him or her. There a difference (albeit a small one) between this being considered ‘rude’ and what I consider ‘quality alone time’ – most people think that having QAT in public places is actually rude. In this circumstance, I don’t care.
But I when I slapped ‘work’ in the sentence ‘I’m going to the gym…(to work)’, I killed the romance. Almost overnight my place of QAT because my place of Monday morning dread… this creates 2 more problems;
1. When you’re a PT you are also a walking (and eating) advertisement for your business.
2. When you work IN a gym, the last thing you want to do is spend more (unnecessary) time there… think hanging out at your office for fun on a Sunday morning before you go for brunch.
The negative feedback loop began; The more I trained other people, the more time I was in the gym (the better my business was) = the less I wanted to spend time at the gym for myself = less training for me = not the pin up girl for PT. See my issue.
So I made the call. I knew I loved the gym, but I realized I loved it because of what I got out of it on a personal level; mental health, endorphin rush, being in a public place listening to Kylie Minogue without anyone paying out on me (you know who you are). The call in this case was decided what was most important to me in this situation; having a job OR finding the love I once had for this game.
So I quit.
Sometimes we think that the thing we LOVE is what we want to do, to make money from. You have all heard the saying ‘do something you love and never work a day in your life’. While I believe that saying I also believe that if the thing you do for work kills the reason why you began it, its not love anymore.
Move towards your passion, but remember to chase the feeling of why you love it, not what you think you can get from it.
Who knows, maybe if I had progressed to a different area of that industry that I’d arrive at a job that I not only loved but also brought me ‘alive’ then I might have made a different call…. But perhaps I told that job to stick it because it just didn’t feel right and I knew deep down that there was something better? But I’d have to take the leap first.
Who knows, perhaps I’m working slowly towards the ‘right thing’ now?
I believe we should chase down that thing that makes you feel alive, then you’ll actually live everyday of your life, rather than just the hours you’re at work.